Identity Misplaced

         I am a very anxiety ridden woman.  I worry about things that maybe many people don't even know exist. Worry really does waste so much time.  Sometimes my anxiety doesn't allow me to start tasks because I'm afraid I can't finish it.  I hate unfinished projects, so I have a several unstarted projects. Instead, that time is wasted by worrying and other time consuming busy work.  This part of my anxiety is just that,  a part of my anxiety that is entangled throughout most areas of my life.  Over the past several weeks, I have been acknowledging my anxiety a little more.  I want to bring attention to this horrendous struggle, so that God will heal me and I can be free of fear. I learned a great lesson today about trust.
         It all started a few days ago when I realized I didn't have my Driver's License (DL.) The worry began, but I wasn't too upset, yet.  The day before was a nice Florida cold winter day, so I was wearing a warm trench coat.  I have a pocket belt that I usually wear on a daily basis as my Mom Purse that was too bulking to wear with this coat.  I noticed that my trench had pockets, so I put my DL and my debit card in my pocket.  Ordinarily, this is something I just don't do.  I'm always so afraid that I will loose my DL and money, but for some reason I was feeling a little daring that day.  So, off to the store I went with my loose cards in the pocket of my warm winter trench coat on the nice Florida cold winter day.  During my outing, I used my DL and cash, never to touch my debit card.  After returning home, I put the groceries and things away and hung my coat up to finally sit down to relax.
          The next morning, I was back to wearing my pocket belt, so I grabbed my debit card from the pocket of my coat and put it in the money slot of my belt. At this point it has not even occurred to me that my DL was missing.  I went on about my day because I had no use for my DL and still hadn't noticed it was gone.  That evening, I stopped to get a bottle of wine on my way home and found that I couldn't find my DL.  I was very frustrated, but just assumed it was still in my coat pocket.  I had a line all planned out to say to the cashier, as there was a sign on the door that said "WE ID 30 AND UNDER." I went in, walked to the wine section, and came up to the front feeling like an 17 year old trying to buy alcohol.  As I walked up to the cashier and placed the wine on the counter, the lady says, "Yes ma'am, is this it?"  "Yes," I said as I paid with my debit card.  Awh, what a relief, I had no reason to tell her my cheesy line.  On the other hand, I was kind of sad because she just assumed I was 30 or older.  Now, on home to share my story with my husband.  Still the real worry hadn't set in about not having my DL in my possession.
           The next morning was so frustrating because not only was my DL still missing, but now my debit card was missing.  I must not have put it back into my pocket belt the previous night.  Now, my anxiety has taken over.  I was no longer able to think about anything but my DL and debit card.  I looked for those cards for the next hour and intermittently throughout the day.  I kept checking the same places and sometimes new places I hadn't looked (and never spend time near.)  I called every place I had been in the past few days.  No luck.  Crying, I called my cousin, and she explained to me that I was worrying over something I can not control.  I knew this and I completely understand that my worries and anxiety are unreasonable most of the time.  I just have a hard time capturing my thoughts before they get away from me.  So, my anxiety lessened after speaking with her, and I went about the rest of my day (mostly) not thinking about the cards.
          Yet another morning later, I get up to worry a little about the cards and get some house work done along with some errands.  On my way home from spending money to replace my missing DL, I find in my mail  none other than my DRIVER'S LICENSE.  Someone had found it, and mailed it to me.  What a blessing.  I spent all that time and energy worrying when I was covered the whole time.  All of this worry and anxiety is not what God wants for me.
           The thing is, through my anxiety my true identity is also misplaced.  My identity should be found in our Lord who has me covered.  The lesson I have learned through this is that time is not ours and we just need to trust that we will be covered.  My anxiety truly is an issue I can not handle on my own, and I know God will continue to send me people and show me things that tell me that he's got me.  I am thankful for this  happening to me.  It is an experience I can hold on to and refer to in times of future worry.  He's got me.